Dreams

I've had this reoccurring dream for the past month or so, and it's always the same thing occuring, just happening in different ways at different times.

And the other day I opened a fortune cookie that said: "Look for the dream that keeps coming back. It is your destiny".

And that really got me thinking. I mean, I know it's just a piece of paper stuck inside a cookie, but I don't believe in coincidences, so maybe I was supposed to read this piece of paper.

And now the wheels in my head are turning.

Outlet

It seems that this blog has become more of a way to get my "short stories" and poems on the web.

Well, whatever this may be, a journal, a blog, a writing sample, it certainly shall be.

There he was, descending the stairs toward her. Her heart fluttered at her breath caught in her chest at the sight of him. She couldn't believe it. There he was right in front of her. He hadn't seen her yet because he was talking to someone behind him as he clutched the railing, being careful he didn't fall. When he finally looked up he saw her and immediately smiled.

"Laurey!" he exclaimed jumping the last two stairs and running to take her into his arms. He lifted her off the ground, squeezing her tightly and spinning her around. She laughed through happy tears. She was finally here in his arms. She pulled away so she could see his face but instead he pulled her back again, holding her tighter. After a few moments he let her go and a million questions escaped his lips. "What are you doing here?", "How did you get here?", "How long are you staying?" She just smiled at him taking it all in. He hadn't changed at all since she last saw him, a haircut maybe, but his face was still as young and handsome as ever. "What?" he asked, noticing she was staring.

"Nothing," she replied, "I just missed you."

He bent down and kissed her. A bunch of "ohhhhs" and mocking "awws" came from the three guys, his roommates, around them. Laurey rolled her eyes at them while her man, her Stephen, put his arm around her and led her to the couch in the house's great room. Together they sat and talked about their year apart. It felt like an eternity while she was away from him, but now that they were together it felt like no time had passed. His smile lit up her world all over again and her laugh made him feel alive. For a week she stayed with him and they did everything together.

The night before Laurey had to leave Stephen cooked dinner and they ate on the roof of his building looking out at the city lights and sharing private jokes. Stephen brought up his keyboard and performed some original songs for her. She smiled, the sound of his voice gave her chills. Why he never pursued a career as a professional singer she'll never know. A few hours later they lay on a blanket holding hands and whispering sweet nothings in each others' ears. The week had been perfect but she'd come for a reason, news that had to be shared, and now was the perfect moment to tell him.

"I'm moving here," she whispered, "so I can be closer to you."

"What?" he said, sitting up and smiling, almost as if he didn't believe her.

"I'm moving to the city. Being away from you was brutal," she sat up too, "and with school starting again, I don't know when I'll be able to visit again."

"But you can't move here. You're family-."

"Will understand," she cut him off.

"No they won't, plus you have school and your job."

"I'm going to quit school and get a new job up here." She couldn't understand why he was so against this.

"No you're not." He was forceful with his words. She'd never heard him speak this way before.

"Don't you want to be with me?"

He turned his head and look deep into her eyes. "You know I do. I love you. It kills me that you're so far away." He took a strand of her hair in his hand and wiped it behind her ear.

"Well, this way we'll be together."

"No," he stood up and walked over to the railing, his back to her. Laurey stared after him, not knowing what to say. "I quit school," he started, "but I don't want you to. There aren't many jobs you can get now that don't require a degree of some kind. Plus," he said turning around, "you want to be a teacher. You have to go to school."

Laurey stood up and walked to him. She put her arms around his waist and put her head on his chest. Instantly, he wrapped her arms around her as well. "I want to be with you," she said. She looked up at him. "I want to marry you, Stephen. I want to be the mother of your children. I want to be there when you get home from work, whenever you need me, I want to be there."

He looked at her with pain in his eyes. He loved her, but he didn't want her making the same mistake he did. She couldn't give up this oppurtunity. "I love you," he finally said. "But I won't let you regret this. Don't quit school. For me, please don't quit. If we are meant to be together, and I know we are, then we will be in the end. It's going to be hard, and we're going to hate the distance, but we'll be okay."

Laurey's eyes filled with tears. The realization hit her that tomorrow she'd be on a train back home and it would be at least a year - six months if she was lucky - until she'd see him again. She pulled him to her and together they held onto each other as if their lives depended on it.

Life Experiences as a Career Builder

Danny’s red truck barreled up the windy road. A neighbor who saw him pass said he had to be going at least 90 miles an hour. Danny looked at the speedometer, he was pushing 100 and it still wasn’t fast enough. His heart was beating fast and his head was pounding. You need to come home now. The house is on fire. His wife’s words resounded in his head. He’d been at the gun club and was already packing up to head home for lunch when he got her call. Her call! Oh how he froze when she’d said the words. The house is on fire. She said it calmly, but he could tell she was just as scared as he. I’m out. I’m okay. She’s out. She’s okay. He rounded the last corner, his truck leaning on two wheels. He saw it – up ahead. The house completely engulfed in red and orange flames, smoke darker than night pouring out of the open front door. Danny’s wife stood in the neighbor’s backyard just staring up at the house on the hill. Her hand covered her mouth as she sobbed while the house fell. Where were the firemen? Why was no one here? In one movement he stopped his truck, slammed it in park and ran to her. He took her in his arms and together they sobbed and watched their life crash before their eyes. He couldn’t believe it. Everything they worked for their whole lives. For the past thirty-eight years they’d lived in that house. Every smile, every laugh, every tear, and every memory would forever be lost in the ashes of a broken house.

Falling Apart

On a hill, overlooking a forest of green pine and oak trees stands a house. The house where my father was raised. Over the years, it's seen many additions and repairs. The kitchen was recently redone. The garage filled with memories. The back porch was a haven for my grandmother in the spring and summers. So many times I've spent the night in the basement, staying up late giggling and watching movies with my cousins until dawn.

I was just saying to a co worker the other day how wonderful this next week was going to be. I would go up to grandma and grandpa's and sit on the back porch reading books and singing songs, laughing and just being together.

But now the house is gone - the house, the back porch, the garage, everything. Everything they've ever known turned to ash. And I wonder why this happened, and I know that God has a purpose.

He saved my grandparents' lives, but turned their house to rubble. A house that has served as a refuge for my family during the summers and housed my two loving grandparents for so many years.

I know God has a reason for this, but sometimes I wish things would just stay the same. I am still in shock from the news of my second home falling to pieces. I still cannot wrap my head around it. I will miss the way I would try not to break my neck while descending the stairs to the basement. I will miss sitting on the back porch, drinking lemonade and watching the three boys play in the sandbox. I will miss the house that sheltered me from New York summer storms.

But the memories I made there will live on in my heart and hopefully someday soon, the house can be rebuilt by those who cherish all the memories and wish to see the house stand tall yet again.

I'm a wanderer

Ever since I was in middle school I've told myself that after I graduated college I was moving out of Virginia -preferably to the south. And now that I'm in college, and graduating in three years I think about it more and more. It's gotten so bad that I have actually started looking up houses in other states to buy. Of course, I have no money so I'm thinking I'll still have to live with my mom after I graduate to save up money, but I am just so itchy to move and I didn't know why.

But now that I've been away from home for a year, I know. I love my independence. I get a little bit and I soak it all in and I want more and more and more. Yes, I know I'll miss my family - but they've been with me all my life. I need to see how I do without them for a while. I love them all but sometimes if you don't jump you'll never know if you can fly. I may not like it - I may hate living in Alabama (yes, this week I've settled on living in Altoona, Alabama), I may hate being so far away from my family. But I have to go or else I'll hate myself for not trying to live on my own.

I've never lived anywhere except Virginia. Every summer I go up to New York to see my grandma and grandpa. And yes, I've been to Canada and New Mexico. Yes, I've been to Florida and all along the east coast, but I've never lived there. I've never been in these places for longer than two weeks at a time. After being in New York City I realized that the reason I've been planning my big move all these years is because I've never experienced the world before. And as soon as I get enough money I am going to march myself (or drive myself) down to Altoona, Alabama (*this is subject to change) and put a down payment on that gray $105,000 3 bedroom home.

Of course, that cute rancher in Cary, North Carolina still looks good to me.

Either way, I will leave. I will leave Virginia so that I can cross "Leave Virginia for at least one year" off of my to do list and after that year is up will I decided to stay or go. Maybe I will return to Virginia, maybe I will move to another state, maybe I'll move to another country, maybe I will stay where I am.

While I was at school I was always doing something. I was never bored, I was never in my dorm room just sitting. I was always with someone else, talking, laughing, watching movies, singing songs, going to Walmart or Bdubbs. Ever since I got home I have been restless.

I am restless. I am a wanderer. I am a restless wanderer.

Fun-filled Weekend (:

I'm so glad that I don't have to work on Monday. Not because I don't love my kids and I certainly want to make money. But it will be nice to have a three day weekend!

Today, I will be going to see Eclipse with my mom. I'm not a huge fan of the Twilight movies, but since I saw the first two, I have to watch the last two (it's a thing with me...). And I have to admit Eclipse seems better than the last two.. unfortunately that's what I said about New Moon and still ended up being disappointed. Anyway, after the movie we'll be heading to my aunt and uncle's house for dinner and then we're going to a Flying Squirrel's game! (: Yesssss! I LOVE BASEBALL! And now that my brother's done with his little league team I can't watch it. Yes, I understand I can watch baseball on tv, but it's not the same as in real life. I love the atmosphere of baseball games. The people cheering, guys yelling "Peanuts here! Peanuts here! Get your hot nuts here!" Okay, they don't really do that but I can dream, right?

Also, when we go to the game tonight we have box seats. YES! I've never sat in box seats before, but they're great! You don't have to walk through a whole isle of people and worry about knocking over their drinks or stepping on their feet. You have your own entrance to your box and it's great.

And then tomorrow, I will be cleaning my nana's bathrooms for a little extra cash and possibly my bestfriend (yes, one word) will come over to watch I Love You, Man and we will talk about her week at camp. I missed her so much!

And then on Monday I am going Kayaking!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHH!!!! I've wanted to go Kayaking with my aunts for so long and they always keep saying they'll take me, but they never do. And now I'm going.

Words cannot describe how I feel.

Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes.

(:

And then I go back to work on Tuesday. And then Tuesday night I'm having dinner with Gentry, Jordan, and Sara! (:

Israel

I don't know where you are. I don't know how you got there. And I don't know why you left. But I miss you and I love you. I'm praying for you and I hope that soon you find yourself headed back to that beautiful brick building on Bowery Street.

I hope you know that God loves you and He has you and you don't need to worry about anything because He has it all under control.

There's a picture of you and me in a frame on my desk and every day I will look at it and miss you more and more. I will pray for you and remind myself that we came into each other's lives for a reason.